


Average Joes

by Vashti (tvashti)



Series: Fourth Dimension [3]
Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Eureka (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fusion, Community: twistedshorts, Crossovers & Fandom Fusions, Gen, Handwaving, Just Another Day in Eureka, Robots, evil robots
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-03
Updated: 2016-08-03
Packaged: 2018-08-20 07:45:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 885
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8241743
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tvashti/pseuds/Vashti
Summary: "Alexander Harris.  Xander to my friends.  And I think this totally counts as a friendship building exercise."





	

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the 2016 Twisted Shorts Ficathon.

“Over here!” Sheriff Jack Carter yelled.

He caught the, frankly ridiculously oversized, energy weapon tossed his way by the young man who had been wielding it. “Got it!” he snapped even as he quickly braced it against his shoulder and fired at the ground around his feet.

He was too preoccupied to swear, but as soon as they got themselves out of this mess…

“Sheriff!”

Jack’s head snapped up, looking for his new best friend. 

“Here!” the young man called off to Jack’s left. 

He tossed the gun. Then quickly began hot-stepping it as the robot chickens surrounding him regrouped over their fallen comrades.

“Why are there so many?! Are they born pregnant?!” There was, of course, no answer.

“Ouch!” The little things were starting to bite through is trouser legs again. “I haven’t gotten my knees up this high since basic!” Jack cried.

“Tell me about it,” the young man said. “Your turn!”

Jack barely looked up in time to catch the gun in time. The little chickens were learning, however, and at least twice the number were climbing up his legs as before. 

“Of course you are,” Jack snarled as he swiped the butt of the gun across his lower leg, almost taking himself out. “And this is a horribly balanced weapon!”

“I know ri-- What is wrong with these chickens?!” the young man cried not for the first time. “I think they’re building a tower!”

Finally freed from his personal assault force, Jack looked up to see that his young friend was correct. Swearing under his breath, he paused his own attack to fire at the growing, precarious mass surrounding the young man.

Of course, by the time he looked back at his own clutch, they had figured out they could amass into a giant robot chicken. “Seriously?!”

“Hey! Where the heck is your deputy?”

Jack tossed the young man the gun, chasing after it as he pulled his phone from his belt. “ANDY! Where are you!”

“Right here, Sheriff Carter!” he replied, chipper as ever. The device he held was even more ridiculously huge than the gun Jack was sharing with his friend.

“I feel like I’m—Gah! Die already!—I’m in an episode of MiB!” the young man cried. “What is that thing?”

Andy took a swipe at the giant robot chicken’s legs. Prompting them to create two medium sized chickens instead.

Opening his mouth to give the device a, deservedly, elaborate description, he was cut off by weapons blast near his feet.

Cocking his head to one side, he smiled and said, "Should I take that personally, Sheriff?"

"Just turn it on already!" Jack shouted.

"Okay, but Henry said--"

"I will ask Henry about it later. TURN IT ON!"

"Don't say I didn't try to warn you. See you in about fifteen!" And with a cheery smile, he hefted the device and flipped the switch on the bottom.

Then collapsed.

As did the medium-sized robot chickens. And the little robot chickens that had been making a renewed assault on Jack's legs.

Jack's new young friend shouted in surprise and pain. "Ahh!" Jack turned in time to see him drop to one knee, the weapon cradled in his arms as he pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes. "God that stings!"

"What? What now? Ducklings from hell?"

"Please don't jinx us," the young man said earnestly. "This town is weird enough for that to be a thing."

"Tell me about it. But you're okay? More or less?"

The young man nodded. "Yeah. Just give me a minute."

"Alright." Jack jogged the short distance to where Andy was lying, smiling and still. "What is this thing?" he muttered into the, now disturbing, silence.

"I'm gonna guess EMP," the young man said. "Weapon's dead. So's my eye."

"What?" Jack turned to his young friend. "Huh. So...I take it that isn't a real right eye. Left eye," he quickly corrected.

"Yeah. It's an experimental prosthetic--"

"Of course it is."

"--from GD."

"Seemed to work fine. Y'know, before the EMP took it out."

The young man actually grinned. "It really did. I was feeling kind of Mad-Eye Moody there for a bit."

At Jack's confused look, he shook his head. "Never mind. The long and short was that I could finally see again."

"Lost it an accident?"

"In the field. I was an Army Ranger."

"Really now. You seem kind of young to have been a Ranger. Former US Marshall here."

They reached out and shook hands. "Got a name there, soldier?"

"Oh, um," the young man blushed. "Alexander Harris. Xander to my friends. Which, after battling robot chickens together, I think this totally counts as a friendship building exercise."

Jack started to laugh, just as his phone went off. "Carter, here."

"Jack! Did Andy deliver Henry's modified EMP?"

"Hey Jo! Yeah, works great."

"Excellent. NOW CAN YOU BRING IT TO GD! Dr. Osborne's music doesn't work on aquatic fowl and these ducks are out of control."

"On it." He turned to Xander. "About those ducks..."

"Could have been worse. Could have been bunnies."

Jack spared the young man a strange look before hefting the EMP from off Andy's chest. "Catch up when you can, buddy," he said patting the android's chest. Standing, he nodded to Xander. "Let's go."

Fin[ite]


End file.
